Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Randomize
