well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
