Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
there is puke in my bra ... again
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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