found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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