Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
