vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
