Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
