i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize
