haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Randomize
