I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
im on a boat
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