Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
PANTIES FOUND
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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