The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
