You're a womanizer and a bitch.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
