she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
