Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
