i wish there were pregnant emoticons
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
