i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
