Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
