I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize
