He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
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