Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
