At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
