: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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