I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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