So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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