I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
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