Me too!
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
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Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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