i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
