Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
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