if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
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