Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
