Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
