Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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