Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
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