I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
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