i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Randomize
