are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
