I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Randomize
