do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize