if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize