thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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