why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
