question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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