booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
