Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
