Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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