It's Friday. Sex?
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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