Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
