You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
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