Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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