Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize
