Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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