You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
