Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
We were destined to go to rehab together
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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