All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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