dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
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remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
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I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
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