I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
