okay pat passed out under dana's car
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
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