we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
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I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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