I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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